Before the Great Purge
Part 2 - some history and details (at the request of readers)
Welcome back to the story of the ‘Great Purge’.
Since I posted Part 1 last week, I had a few people message me that they didn’t know the rest of the story of how I got from spring in 2018 to unloading the storage unit for good in 2023 and could I share more? So, this story is going to be in 3 parts now (who knows, maybe more]. I hope you enjoy it, find it interesting and/or inspiring! So here we go with part 2. Thanks for following along.
Normalize enjoying the unknown.
Normalize being in process instead of focused on the outcome.
The above are the mantras that I have come to live by in this last chapter of life, which began, in earnest in 2018.
In Part 1 of ‘the great purge’ I covered how this whole process began, how I embarked on the process of changing my life without a real plan. And if you knew me, you would know that I like making plans. A lot. But I’m also not afraid of change or starting over (oof, the amount of times I’ve started over!). However, I would say even my best laid plans have not panned out exactly as I thought they would, sometimes, most times even, in the very best ways. Letting go to the illusion of “needing to know the outcome” (because that’s pretty impossible yet we humans persist in believing we can predict or plan for an exact outcome) has slowly led me to normalizing the enjoyment of the unknown.
Back in 2018
When we last left off, I was finding such pleasure in what would be my last summer with my sweet dog, Bee, who was almost 15. We had a great life together, moving several times, traveling, her being a great winery dog and she was my constant companion on many adventures. When she made the journey over the rainbow bridge in late September 2018, I was fully grieving. I had lost my other dog, Baloo, in 2015 and had been a pet parent since 2004 and I felt the loss of Bee deeply. Not having Bee with me when I went out for walk felt like I lost an appendage and I knew it was going to take me a good while to adjust to life without her.
Many people in my life, who knew my deep love for my dogs, asked immediately but not insensitively if I would get another dog right away. While I honor each pet parents choice for the timing of a new family member after one passes, I knew that I would not be getting another dog right away. I was mourning but also thinking about life in general, so many things had changed in such a short time and I was trying to make sense of who I was and where I wanted to go.
One morning, I was writing about Bee in my journal shortly after she passed and I wrote this sentence:
“I am so sad but also joyfully recollecting all the wonderful companionship and nurturing my dogs gave me. They literally saved my life at least twice in the last two decades and I am so happy they “chose me” as a parent. But, after almost 14 years what does my life look like alone for the next while?”
When you put a question out to the universe, the universe answers back.
It was the next day that I opened my laptop and as I was scrolling through messages in my email I saw a subject line that jumped out at me: “Work remotely and travel the world”. I didn’t recognize the sender but I opened it up. It was an article from a newsletter I didn’t remember signing up for and it was all about this company that organized 12-month trips for remote workers - living in a different country every month. “You bring the job and we take care of the rest” was the tagline.
I thought: could this be real? So I clicked through to the link to ‘Remote Year’ and started reading about this company. My first thought was I can’t possibly commit to 12-months living in a different country every month. But as I kept scrolling on their site I saw they had JUST announced they were launching 4-month trips. They had a few different itineraries that included South America, Europe/South Africa and Southeast Asia.
On the website, they encouraged a complimentary phone call with one of their advisors to see if I would be the right fit. I liked that they seemed to be selective and have a process in recruiting participants. I definitely didn’t want a “girls gone wild” or “Real World” (I’m a Gen X MTV girl - what can I say?) party vibe trip so I wanted to be sure what they offered was appropriate for me. And also legitimate. So I booked a call for the following week.
As I was anticipating the call, I looked at the itineraries again. I thought that the Europe/South Africa trip would call to me the most but I was most drawn to the Southeast Asia trip. I had never been to that part of the world (I hadn’t been to Europe at this point either - that is hard to believe today) and there was a firm voice inside me saying: go to SE Asia. The 4-months included one month each in Hanoi, Vietnam; Chang Mai, Thailand; Kyoto, Japan; Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. It was Kyoto Japan that had the strongest pull for me. I just felt like I was meant to go.
I had a great call with the Remote Year advisor. At that time they had a lot of criteria for participants and were willing to help folks “figure out” how to make this happen if they held traditional jobs. They also could talk you through what to do with your home or apartments as solutions if those seemed to be obstacles. I was completely transparent with my advisor about everything that had transpired in my life that year. It was funny because when I paused after sharing my story, she was silent for a good beat and then said Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever talked to someone who was more set up for success in participating in this program.
This was true and I made a list of the reasons in my journal:
I had moved from a go-to-the-office 5 days (sometimes 6) a week job to working successfully for myself, at home, and had several months of projects lined up.
I had given up my lease and was renting [not even] month-to-month. I was very flexible.
My son was an adult - adulting in his own world. I also knew he would be very supportive of this endeavor (and I was correct).
Sadly, my dear sweet dog had passed but yes, I had no dependents at the moment.
I decided to think about the SE Asia itinerary for a few days.
I think I knew deep down when I got off the phone with my advisor that I was going to do this. It seemed destined. Fated. And I was ready.
I called back two days later and reserved my spot with a deposit to leave for Southeast Asia in March 2019.
SOME NOTES ON REMOTE YEAR (RY)*
The format of RY in 2019 - the “groups” could be anywhere from 15-30 people (maybe slightly bigger). This was not group travel where you did everything together but there was structure, support and community built in. In some cities you would share apartments with another RY participant and they were thoughtful about the dynamics of pairing people up. Most apartments were for two or 3 people at most with separate bedrooms and bathrooms (in most instances you had at least a half second bath). It is important to note that I had never had a “roommate” in my life so this was going to be new to me. I saw the situation as a possible adventure rather than a deterrent.
Apartments or houses could be in different parts of the city but they had to be located no longer than a 20-minute walk to the 24-hour co-work space that was part of our package. There were “city guides” in each city working with Remote Year and available to help with different needs or recommendations. Remote Year also put a robust completely optional calendar of activities to do cultural or social events with other members. You could opt-in as much or not at all. Without being too verbose here the way it was structured was very appealing to me. A huge attraction was that RY had done all the work in acquiring homes for us: they were in good/safe parts of the cities. As a woman contemplating traveling alone for the first time to multiple, (very) foreign countries, this was HUGE. While not at all shy, having a built in community of people with a similar mindset and sense of adventure (you would think…) was also a big plus.
I have a lot to say about the experience of traveling with Remote Year in 2019. I not only did the 4 months in SE Asia but decided during my second month that 4-months wasn’t enough and I was able to book a spot in another group when Asia was finished. I would go on from Kuala Lumpur to join another Remote Year group and travel with them to live in Lisbon, Portugal; Valencia, Spain; Cape Town, South Africa. I would embark in March of 2019 and come back a very different person in October 2019, changed for the better forever. No regrets whatsoever.
I’m going to be diving into ALL the details of my RY experience, by month/location, on Life Off-Script - I already started documenting some of the details and you can listen HERE.
*The Remote Year format/offering is very different now from what I see on their website. I believe it has been sold a couple of times since I was a part of it.
PURGING AND MOVING. AGAIN.
At the time I signed on for Remote Year I was headed into my final month of my temporary summer space. Autumn had arrived with a bang to the Portland area and I was busy with some big creative projects for clients. Freelance works was going great. Immersing myself in the work, traveling by car to oversee photo shoots and product launches, and being creative helped distract me from my loneliness without my sweet Bee.
I realized I only had about 3 weeks left at my summer place when I gave some focus to another temporary space for November 2018-March 2 2019, as I would leave for Hanoi, Vietnam on March 3.
This is when I dove into Airbnb as an option for short-term no lease rentals. Again, luck was on my side.
I had a few places on Airbnb I was looking at in the greater Portland area. The thing to note here is that Airbnb had not yet caught on for longer term rentals (a month or more) and most of the pricing was set for nightly rates, optimizing higher pricing, which made most 30 days cost prohibitive. However, I found a few that were set up for longer stays and one in particular stood out as a strong possibility. The only issue was that it was a daylight basement apartment. I wasn’t opposed to it but I wanted to make sure it was a nice space and not some dark, dank basement and I definitely wanted to see it before committing. I reached out to the host, a woman named Celeste, who had two other airbnb listings including a tiny home. Celeste was completely open to meeting in person so I could see the basement apartment and we arranged to meet the day after messaging on the Airbnb app (which wasn’t easy at the time).
Well, I could not predict how this would work out but let me tell you, it again felt kind of fated and wild. The basement apartment was in a house that Celeste owned but was not living in. The upstairs space was unique in that it was sparsely furnished on the main floor which had a big kitchen, a very large living room/dining room, a bedroom and full bath. The 2nd floor of the house was closed off. A grad student was living on the main floor of the house with his dog. Then the basement had the 2 room apartment and a laundry room for use for the main floor tenant and basement apartment. The extensive fenced in yard (a triple lot with lots of trees) had the tiny house, which was adorable (but very tiny) and rented often for 3-5 nights a week.
While I hit it off immediately with Celeste, I didn’t love the basement apartment. It was fine, clean, nicely furnished but I couldn’t see myself staying there for 4 months. We went and had a coffee together and got to know each other a bit. After we finished our drinks, I thanked Celeste for her time and thought I would need to go back to the drawing board of looking. However, fate would have it different.
The next day Celeste called me and said she couldn’t stop thinking of me and my exciting plans and wanted to help make my transition easier. The person who was living in the main house was willing to move to the basement apartment - no problem. If I wanted I could move into the main house. If I told you the price - everything included (wifi, heat, electric, trash, water) - well, it was very, very reasonable. I couldn’t believe my luck. My answer was an enthusiastic and very grateful YES.
When I was moving to Celeste’s I did not do much purging but I didn’t bring as many personal things to her house. I just packed up my personal belongings from the summer house and put them into another box to fit into the storage unit while I started practicing living out of a 27-inch suitcase.
When I moved a couple weeks later, I settled right into Celeste’s house. I loved it. I didn’t see or hear my neighbor below too often but when I did it was very pleasant. I loved his sweet dog, a golden retriever, and it made my heart happy to see them together.
The months passed by quickly and as March drew closer I was getting more and more excited. My son and I had a trip to New York City planned for Thanksgiving, which was fantastic. As I predicted he was thrilled and so supportive of my planned adventure. He is the best.
The last thing I needed to sort out was my car. I needed somewhere for my car to BE while I traveled. I have a Prius, which needs to be driven at least once a week or so, as its a hybrid and has a battery. I wasn’t having too much luck locally and then one of my friends had their car completely die on them. I offered her the Prius so she didn’t feel pressured to purchase something else right away and could take her time with 4 months (which turned into almost 8 months) to shop around. I knew she would take good care of it and she did.
I remember the last night before my flight I went to put my last box in the storage unit. I stood there looking at all my stuff including Bee’s bed and blankets as I couldn’t part with them quite yet, and thought of all the happened in just a little bit over a year when I wrote that F.Scott Fitzgerald quote in my journal. Life had changed SO MUCH. Some of it was painful but most of it was incredibly joyous and freeing and I was filled with so much GRATITUDE. I was rewriting the script - I was definitely not doing what other people considered “normal” for a 50-year old woman. But I wasn’t nervous and didn’t doubt it for a second. I was ready for this next chapter - whatever it would bring. And while I was out living it, the storage unit would safely keep my old life secure until I needed to pick it back up.
But it wouldn’t quite work that way….the timing of my travel couldn’t have been more fated (honestly!) as almost exactly a year after flying off to Vietnam, we would go into lockdown. It is crazy to think about now.
Coming Soon - Part 3 - Covid - Travel Calls - Beating Resistance and the Final Purge
Thanks so much for reading Pied À Terre Life and being so engaged in my stories. As I’ve shared previously here - I have been pivoting and making it up as I go but I’ve learned a lot and want to share with, and support, anyone who might be interested in doing something similar.
Ok friends - I hope you’re having a good week. Stay safe out there in the world.
Hugs.